Maryland Foster Care References: Who to Ask and What to Expect

References might seem like the easiest part of the Maryland foster care application, but they are responsible for more preventable delays than most applicants expect. The rules are specific, the interviews are substantive, and the timeline is entirely dependent on how quickly your references respond.

The Maryland Reference Requirements

Under COMAR 07.05.02 and the home study standards applied by Maryland's Local Departments of Social Services, applicants must provide three personal references. The rules for those three references are:

At least two of the three must be interviewed in person or by phone by the licensing worker. A written questionnaire alone is not sufficient for your primary references. The social worker needs to have a real conversation.

No more than one of the three may be a relative. You cannot fill your reference list with family members. At most one immediate or extended family member counts toward the three.

If you have school-age children in the household, at least one reference must come from a school professional. This could be a teacher, school counselor, or administrator who knows your child and, by extension, your parenting. This requirement applies at the time of application and is often overlooked by families with children in school.

Who Makes a Strong Reference

Your licensing worker is trying to understand your character, your parenting approach, your ability to handle stress, and how you relate to people outside your own family. The most useful references are people who can speak to those qualities from direct experience.

Strong options include:

• A neighbor or community member who has seen you interact with children
• A co-worker, manager, or professional colleague who can speak to your reliability and composure under pressure
• A faith community leader or volunteer coordinator who knows you in a structured environment
• A close friend (non-family) who has observed you parenting or caregiving

Weak options include references who know you only casually, who have never seen you interact with a child, or who are likely to provide a generic "they are a great person" response. Your licensing worker is asking substantive questions — they need references who can actually answer them.

What the Reference Interview Covers

The social worker's interview with your references typically explores:

• How long and in what context they know you
• Their observations of you with children or in caregiving situations
• Your ability to handle conflict, frustration, or unexpected stress
• Their honest assessment of your readiness to foster
• Whether they have any concerns about your household or lifestyle

References are told that their responses are confidential, which means they may be more candid than you expect. This is why choosing people who genuinely know you and who support your decision to foster matters more than choosing people who will say the right things.

The Delay Problem: Reference Non-Response

Reference delays are one of the top causes of preventable licensing setbacks in Maryland. Here is what typically happens: the LDSS sends a written questionnaire to each reference. The reference sets it aside to fill out "later." A week passes. The social worker follows up. Another week passes. The licensing process sits idle while everyone waits.

This scenario is avoidable. When you give your references' names to the LDSS, do the following:

1. Contact each reference before submitting their name and confirm they are willing to participate. Do not assume.
2. Tell them they will receive a questionnaire and may be contacted for a phone or in-person interview.
3. Ask them to respond promptly — within a week of receiving anything from the LDSS.
4. Follow up with them personally after a few days to confirm they received the outreach and that they have responded.

Your references will not be penalized for taking their time. Your application will be. You are the one with a stake in the timeline.

Timing Your References

The reference verification step happens during the home study phase, which typically runs from roughly day 91 to day 120 of the licensing process after fingerprinting and PRIDE training are underway. That means you have several weeks from the time you first contact your LDSS to identify and prepare your references.

Use that window. Do not wait until you are asked to provide names. Think now about the three people you would choose, whether any of them is a relative (remember the one-relative limit), and whether you have a school professional in the mix if your children are school-age.

The Autobiography Connection

Maryland's home study process also includes a written autobiography from the applicant — a narrative about your upbringing, life experiences, and motivations for fostering. The references serve as a kind of external verification layer for that self-portrait. Discrepancies between what you say about yourself and what your references say about you will prompt questions from your licensing worker. This is not a reason to coach your references, but it is a reason to choose people who know you genuinely and whose impressions of you are accurate.

What Happens If a Reference Falls Through

If a reference becomes unavailable or unresponsive, you will need to substitute another. This is more common than people expect — references move, get busy, or decide they are not comfortable with the process. Having a fourth person in mind who you could call on as a backup removes the anxiety of being left with two references at a critical stage.

For a complete overview of the Maryland home study process — including the autobiography, physical inspection, and the interviews that accompany each step — see the Maryland Foster Care Licensing Guide.

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