North Dakota Foster Care Reference Letter Requirements

Most applicants focus their energy on the background check and the fire extinguisher. References feel like an afterthought — a quick ask to a neighbor who knew you back when. That assumption is a mistake. The Children and Family Services (CFS) Licensing Unit uses your three personal references to probe the parts of your character that paperwork cannot reach: how you handle stress, how you interact with children, whether you can work with people who challenge you. A vague or generic letter can stall your home study just as surely as a failed background check.

What the State Requires: The SFN 902 Form

North Dakota uses SFN 902 (Foster Care Licensing Reference Check) to contact your references. This is not simply a "Please say nice things about me" request. The form is a structured questionnaire that the licensing specialist sends directly to each reference. It asks about:

• Your relationship to the applicant and how long you have known them
• Your observations of the applicant's interactions with children
• Your assessment of the applicant's emotional stability and stress tolerance
• Whether you have any concerns about their ability to care for foster children
• Their ability to work cooperatively with professionals and biological families

The state processes the SFN 902 responses in writing. Your references must complete and return the form — the licensing specialist does not rely solely on a phone call.

Selecting Your Three References

The rules are specific: at least two of your three references must be unrelated to you. In practice, most licensing specialists prefer all three to be outside your immediate family. The state wants perspectives that are not filtered through a blood relationship.

Strong reference candidates include:

• Colleagues or supervisors who have observed you under pressure and can speak to your professionalism
• Teachers or coaches who have seen you interact with children in a structured setting
• Friends who are parents and can speak to your relationship with their children
• Neighbors or community members who have known you long-term and can speak to your stability and character

Weak reference candidates include anyone who has only known you online or for less than six months, anyone who cannot describe specific observations of you with children, and anyone you need to "coach" extensively on what to say.

The Detail That Makes the Difference

The CFS Licensing Unit is trained to spot reference letters that say something versus letters that say nothing. A letter that reads "John has always been a great person and would be an excellent foster parent" tells a licensing specialist nothing specific. A letter that reads "I watched John spend forty-five minutes calmly helping my eight-year-old work through a meltdown at our Fourth of July gathering last summer, and then check in with the child's feelings again before we left" demonstrates exactly what the agency needs to see.

Before your references write or respond to SFN 902, have a direct conversation with each of them. Tell them:

1. The PRIDE competency areas the state cares about: protecting and nurturing children, meeting developmental needs, supporting biological family relationships, working as part of a professional team
2. Specific situations they can describe: Ask them to think of a time they have seen you with a child who was upset, scared, or acting out
3. The honest nature of the process: Assure them they can and should be candid. Licensing specialists are looking for self-aware applicants, not perfect ones. A reference who notes that you are "still learning how to handle toddler tantrums but asks thoughtful questions" is more credible than one who claims you are faultless

What Happens If a Reference Has Concerns

If a reference raises a concern in their SFN 902 response, it does not automatically derail your application. The licensing specialist will discuss the concern with you during the interview phase. What does create problems is when a reference expresses a concern the applicant has never acknowledged or does not seem to be aware of.

If you know that one of your references might flag something — say, a difficult period in your life three years ago — it is better to disclose that proactively in your own interviews than to be blindsided by it in the reference report. The "Safety Framework Practice Model" that guides North Dakota's licensing process is not looking for perfection; it is evaluating your self-awareness and your capacity to protect a child.

Timeline Considerations

The SFN 902 forms are typically sent to your references early in the home study phase — after orientation, after you have submitted the SFN 893 application, and often concurrent with the background check process. Processing depends on how quickly your references respond. A reference who takes three weeks to mail back the form can add three weeks to your overall licensing timeline.

Give your references advance notice before you submit their contact information. Confirm their current mailing and email addresses. Follow up politely if two weeks pass without confirmation that they have received or returned the form.

Putting Your References in a Position to Help You

The best thing you can do before your application reaches the home study stage is to sit down with each reference, explain what you are doing and why, share the general topics the form covers, and give them permission to be specific and honest. A licensing specialist reading three thoughtful, detailed SFN 902 responses from engaged references will form a very different impression of your household than one reading three generic form letters.

The North Dakota Foster Care Licensing Guide walks through every document in the licensing packet — including a reference letter prompt sheet designed to help your references highlight the PRIDE competency areas the state values most. If you want to make sure your application arrives as prepared as possible, start with the guide.

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